Haiti Hangover (aka Beardy Rob)

I don't know whether it was all the crying I did over the heart-wrenching images of Haiti or my inability to see Rob's jawline at last night's Hope For Haiti telethon, but something has me feeling a bit under the weather today. A bit melancholy. I was thrilled to see so many celebs give of their time and talents, and so many people give what donations they could to help those who are in such dire straits. But the images of the devastation were very hard to take...very overwhelming. Yet what struck me most was the indomitable spirit of the Haitian people, no matter how bad their circumstances. Their faith and hope during this time of crisis gives an example to us all.

It seems much to-do is being made of Rob's short speech last night. We all know this type of public speaking isn't Rob's forte, and he looked quite nervous during his short stint during the telethon. But he also spoke clearly and fluently, making no mistakes, and looking somewhat shaken from the story he was telling of a girl trapped under a building for six days until her text message for help was answered. I thought he did a fine job. I was proud of him. Not that I'm in a position to be proud, but I was anyway.

And now, on to the important topic of What Rob Looked Like. How many of you laughed when I suggested that this might be what would show up last night?



Who's laughing now, eh?


Certainly not me. Beardy Rob is no laughing matter. Beardy Rob seems to have caused all sorts of hubbub on the 'net. Some love it...he's so manly! He must have enough testosterone to impregnate us from halfway around the globe with just one well-placed Sex Stare! (YOU know the one I'm talking about.)



Some are less enthusiastic. He looks like a Yeti! He should have had more respect for the fund-raising efforts and shaved! (Um, like Justin Timberlake and THE HOST, George Clooney? Okay, I get that argument.)

Personally, I fall somewhere in the middle. Anything that hides such a beautiful face, with such a stunning jawline, is not my favorite thing in the world, or on Rob, anyway. However, I believe that he's doing it partly to prepare for his role in Bel Ami, in which the style of the times dictates that he have some sort of facial hair. (The other part of him simply can't be arsed to shave.) And frankly, in the pic below, he looks like such an ethereally beautiful example of 1800s manhood (minus the ball cap,) that I am perfectly fine with this look while Rob is doing Bel Ami. And filming starts next week! (Thanks, Diana!)



In speaking with some of my other Rob Peeps, they have noted that Rob seems a little heavier, which is all good in my book. Have another Hot Pocket and a Heinie, Rob! Have six!


My lucky (read: delusional) friend Amanda had a chat with Rob after the telethon which went something like this:
Rob: So, that was my Haitian Relief Appearance
(pause)
Me: No blinking?
Rob: Uh...no. I....I don't blink.
Me: Ever?
Rob: *smiles lightly* No, not at all.

I had to watch the video of Rob speaking again...and it's true, he didn't blink for an entire minute...just twice at the very end! Perhaps he didn't want to mess up while reading the teleprompter. That takes amazing skill. Or maybe half a valium, Rob? ;)

My friend who wishes to be known cryptically as "Roblivious" (should I trademark that?) summed the whole thing up quite handily in this excellent Hope For Haiti Rob Performance Exit Poll:

During his speech, Rob did the following:
A. Peed
B. Shit
C. Cried
D. Barfed

He kept his hands in his pocket because:
A. He swallowed his knuckles in a nail-biting frenzy
B. He couldn't remember which way his peen was pointing
C. He was digging for crumbs because 60 seconds is way too long to go without something in your mouth
D. He was frantically texting KStew the whole time.

The logo on Rob's jacket reads:
A. My other coat's a Members Only
B. Chamber of Commerce: Hoor Island
C. Dharma Initiative (because he's totes in love with Emile de Ravin)
D. No one can read it cause he embroidered it his own self

He was chosen to talk about technology because:
A. He's hoping to replace the 'Can you hear me now' guy
B. He secretly tweets himself silly
C. He and TomStu often chat via orange juice cans and a string
D. Worldwide panty-poofing ensues when he says "org"

("Roblivious" should have her own blog, shouldn't she? Brilliant!)

No matter what any of us thinks about Rob's appearance, or performance, I think we would all agree that his heart, mind and conscience are all in excellent shape. Go on with your bad self, Beardy Rob. But when it comes time for a shave, will you please call me first?