Saturday, April 17, 2010

Where's KStew? (did anyone look under Rob?)

Okay, I'll be honest, I don't really give a rat's behind where Kristen Stewart is.  I think she's a cute girl, a fine actress, and a pretty cool chick all around.  Fact is, she makes Robert Pattinson supremely happy.  And Happy Rob makes me happy.  I'm pretty much All About Rob.  (A few of you astute readers may have picked up on this in the past few months.)  So from that perspective, I hope she's trapped under Rob in London until Iceland's volcanic cloud stops swallowing half of Europe. 

I have heard on good authority that she has, in fact, escaped to LA and is enjoying the Coachella music festival in LA as I type.  However, yesterday afternoon, the Ladies of the Chain Gang (heretofore known as the "Robtarts"--copyright LoveTheLips & Jala) were still under the impression that Rob and Kristen were stuck together in London for an indeterminate amount of time.  Our devious minds began to wander, as they are often wont to do.  What, pray tell, would the Beautiful Couple DO with so much time on their hands?  *aherm*

Having never been to Europe, my mind was preoccupied with hotel room diversions.  You know, a little Naked Twister, a bit of Hide And Go Shag...maybe later a round of Pin The Lit Ciggie on TomStu.  You know, a little harmless fun.  But luckily a few of the Robtarts live in/have lived in/have visited London Town, and were able to come up with a few diversions should our fair couple ever tire of playing Hide the Salami.

Without further ado, I present......

Top Ten Things Rob and Kristen Can Do To Pass The Time Whilst Stuck In London

10) Go to the London Dungeon and swap places with the dummies and see if people notice.

9) Get on that Millenium Ferris Wheel and make out like crazy once it gets to the very top where you know papz won't be able to get pics just as a "fuck you." *

8) Sneak into RM in Leicester Square theater after the lights have gone down, sit in very back and watch with the crowd. Include gropage.

7) Sneak into Mme Tussaud's and put the missing DuRob 'stache on that wax poser.

6) Visit the V&A and screw like bunnies in The Great Bed of Ware (that sucker hasn't seen any action for a looooooooong time.)

5) Stuff TomStu in a pram and run around Piccadilly Circus while he lights ciggies for you.

4) Go down to the crypt at St. Martin's in the Fields and make full-size brass rubbings of each other.

3) Go to Hyde Park and take turns standing on a soap box denouncing the presence of pig-nosed werewolves in the Pacific Northwest.
2) Go up into the dome of St. Paul's Cathedral and do the 'whispering' thing from opposite sides, giving out major Eclipse spoilers.

1) Dress up rob as a Buckingham Palace Guard and go to the palace to see how many people try to a) make him talk and b) say OMG you look just like Robert Pattinson!

Thank you, Jittzpattzing and Roblivious, for your suggestions...I'll foward them to Rob and Kristen just as soon as I figure out where the hell they are!

Honorable Mention goes to Lizalou for: 

My vote is for the two of them to go for afternoon tea at the Dorchester dressed just like this...
Cucumber sandwiches never sounded so good.. yum yum yum

I lieu of that, I would take this scenario as well:
Either way, a jolly good time would be had by all! 

*Jala has informed us that photos are actually taken automatically on the Millenium Ferris Wheel and you can buy them when you get off the ride.  So perhaps Rob and Kris may want to rethink this particular joy ride.


  1. R/K

    You could also meet Barnesey for a cup of tea and a slice of cake and a (Camel) cigarette in your hotel garden/backyard


  2. That's an EXCELLENT idea, C! *Just as long as you are ready for at least half a dozen good friends to join you unexpectedly!*