Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Shameless Robsten spotted making out all over N'Awlins!

Many of us in the Rob/Kristen-lovin' universe were momentarily duped this morning by the appearance of some cleverly photoshopped pictures showing the couple supposedly hanging out in a New Orleans establishment.  You may have seen them:

But then, our very own intrepid Elizalawyer found this little gem on the internet, taken at the Maison Bourbon in 2009:
Well, whaddya know!  Who'd a thunk that a brand new Twitter account called "llloll" would be a fake???  (Emphasis on the 'lol' clearly)

We here on The Chain were not amused.  (Well, actually that's not true.  I kinda cracked up over it myself.  But then again, I don't put anything past anyone.)  We have decided that, like The Who or the team of CSI: Miami, we Won't Get Fooled Again.

That's why it is with great pride that we present our latest Really Real Pictures of Robsten Playing Tonsil Hockey All Over N'Awlins!  We have never seen such blatant acts of public indecency by a pair of celebrities before.  Ooooh, it's disgusting already...get a room!  Yuck, pooey!  xP

Our intrepid cyber-detective, known cryptically as Pieshell, has unearthed these astonishing photos of Rob and Kristen's filthy monkey love and we have decided to show them to the public so that you can be as shocked and offended as we are.  How dare they make out all over the town and not invite us???

More humping in bars.  Honestly.  Right on the floor this time, in front of God and a buncha drunks!

Pieshell:  And here there are again!  Goin' at it on the hood of his Nova.  I mean, that's his car!  It must be real!
Roblivious:  Dude! I like the way you put a square around it so we could make it out cause they were like totally stealth in the picture!
Pieshell:  I know, right?  Have they no shame?
Kathy:  I'm glad she said something though because I was thinking how authentic it looked.
Roblivious:  I had to lighten it up quite a bit to make them out, but it's them all right.
Yvonne:  Astonishing! Have they no shame??  Don't they realize there are people lurking 'round every corner with a cell phone camera??! Huh? Don't they??!!
Roblivious:  Either they don't know or they just don't care. Horny little devils. What would SM say?

Pieshell:  I feel kinda bad for them with all the papz around though.  Just look what they had to resort to for a little peace and quiet.  It's a shame that a few over zealous fans ruin it for the rest of us.
Roblivious:  Ah, he's taken her to his bouncy, bouncy castle just like Prince Charming. Bwahahahaha!
 Kathy:  I wonder what it was like for them fucking and bouncing at the same time....
Roblivious:  Uh, doesn't fucking usually entail (haha, I said in tail!) a certain amount of bouncing?
Yvonne:  hahaha nice....if the bounce house is rockin', don't come a knockin'.....
Roblivious:  Elizalawyer, did you see the new shocking photos of R&K in NOLA? They're gonna get arrested, so maybe you can defend their horny asses.
Elizalawyer:  I saw those just now, and I have to say, I wouldn't be the right gal for the job. You see, i'd be throwing kstew off of the hood of that car, and attacking Rob myself for the whole world to see. I might need to be bailed out.


Pieshell:  How romantic! *sigh* Suppose she keeps her shirt on for fear she's being spied on? Smart girl, that KStew!
Kathy:  well clearly Rob's the exhibitionist in this relationship
Lovethelips:  Looks like it could be Isle Esme. Is that a duckie in the pool?
Roblivious:  He even brought his rubber duckie as tribute to his favorite Moron.
Pattinspired:  Rubber ducky, you're the make bathtime lots of fun...Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of YOOOOUUUU....
Roblivious:  And they don't suspect a thing, heh-heh, quack.
Kathy:  can I squeak his duckie????
Pattinspired:  Get in line, missy.

We wisely decided to stop here because Pieshell ran out of pictures to photoshop we didn't want to promote such shameless hussery (is this a word? no? Cool, I made up a word!) any further on the internet.  Oh yeah, and we think Rob and Kristen should have their privacy, even though they are clearly intent upon christening every hot spot in NOLA with their lewd, lascivious behavior.  Dammit, if there is debauchery to be had, especially the kind that involves Nekkid Rob, the LOTC demand to be a part of it.  Hmph. 

Be sure to check back tomorrow to see if there are any more juicy, Totes Real Honest-and-for-True Deets about Robsten and the horny love train they're pulling all over the Deep South.  *ahem*


  1. Damn! I missed some fun last night. Next time Pieshell gets some Totes Real Honest-and-for-True pics of our fave couple h00ring it up in public would somebody call me up please so I can jump on the next plane out to go and join them?

  2. These pics look so authentic, it MUST be true!


    love Barnesey xxxo

  3. Hey, Pieshell, don't STOP. Since I can't get real pics, let me have more fake ones! LOL!

    P.S. I laughed till I cried...!