Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Summer House: 30-Second Synopsis (aka Rob looks hot with a weave!)

So I downloaded The Summer House today, as did half the planet, if iTunes stats are to be believed (#1 download within a few hours of release? Nice goin', Roberto!)  I didn't have time to watch all 13.9 minutes of it at first, so I just watched the Hot Rob Seduction Scene parts.  Later, I managed to sit through the entire thing and try to glean some sort of plot out of it other than "Rob is HOT!"  Well, sort of.

My dear friend Roblivious sent the following email to the Ladies Of The (email) Chain:
I downloaded it. I watched it. It's worth every penny!!!! But now if someone could just tell me what it's about . . .

Roblivious is one smart cookie.  I didn't believe for one minute that she couldn't figure out what it was about.  So I offered up this highly intellectual take on the film:

It's about some stupid English girl who dates some super hot guy who dumps her for someone else, and then feels bad about it, and writes her these ridiculous heart-covered letters that look like a 12-year-old girl drew on them in crayon, which she doesn't read because she's so mad at him. Then he follows her all the way to France, hoping to win her back or at least get laid, but she gets mad at him again 'cuz he's fucking with the fancy dress her French aunt (or whoever she is) loaned her and she's afraid his gorgeous hands will ruin the dress, which has corset laces up the back (which so clearly screams "I'm a whore, come undo these laces, you hot stud in the velvet blazer!"); so he helpfully suggests to her that she remove it so he can grope her naked body, but she's repulsed 'cuz clearly he's an asshole (um yeah right, what's yer point girly?); so she rebuffs his ridiculous sensual hotness and runs away and cries and burns his letters; and then she compares her whole mundane teen ordeal to men walking on the moon for the first time, which fills her with hope for the future; 'cuz how can she get hung up on some insanely hot guy who wants to use her for sex when there's a whole universe out there just waiting to be explored?

The end.

That's what I got out of it anyway.

So...there you have it.  Am I missing some deeper meaning here?  Do I care?  I get to watch Rob stuff his hand down the back of a tight dress and pretend it's mine.  The rest is gravy.


  1. LOL!!! Yours has to be the most illuminating commentary on this poor excuse for a short film (Rob's appearance excepted). What were they thinking??? I guess it was intended to carry the message that a young girl should keep her sights on more 'exalted' vistas than the hottie right next to her. Otherwise, I didn't get it, either. Those Brits....lol.

  2. haha! Glad it wasn't just me! Was it supposed to be deeper than that? Hmmm. A far better movie tying in with the first moon landing theme is "A Walk On The Moon" with Viggo Mortensen (mmmm!) and Diane Lane. But this one has Rob in it, so it might edge the other out on hotness alone. But not on profundity!

  3. LOL, I think just the drafting of that summary took longer than Rob's cameo in the silly film. But I'm betting Biel will throw in some cool music and turn it into a hot little video soon.

    And yeah, Walk on The Moon is so hawt!